At least this environmentalist was already wearing a white coat. Just needed a quick trip to the lunatic asylum.
State-owned coal miner Solid Energy held an annual meeting for the first time today...protesters stormed the stage.
"They tried to chuck a great big cream pie in my face from point blank range and didn't succeed," said chief executive Don Elder.
The protesters said the company planned to turn the pristine wilderness of Happy Valley on the South Island's West Coast into an open cast coal mine, killing endangered species.
If only. Actually I think Solid Energy is trying to grow the snail population. Their coal mining ability is still in dispute.
As I may have mentioned before:
- Stockton is like a 700 hectare farm, except it makes $500m each year. Try that from dairy.
- Snails and mining don't mix. Drop the snails and get back to your mining, guys
- We have 2000 years of coal in the ground. We are not about to run out. Anything you might have heard about 'peak coal' is just environmentalists dribbling on their bibs
So, here is a challenge for Solid Energy. Get a grip on yourselves, and beef up your mining. You need to work out a plan to open 10 new mines, and attract some foreign capital to pay for it. Get that coal out of the ground as quickly as you can, because soon no one will want the stuff and it will be worthless.
Our economy depends on the hopeless snail-worshippers on the staff taking a long walk on a short plank. Turn off the snail fridges and buy some more mining equipment.
Mine that coal! For the good of New Zealand, mine that coal!